Many delightful adventures have taken place these few weeks and I shall share some with you all now:
Several Fridays ago my FHE group and several others made a trip down to Temple Square in SLC to see the lights. Oh my heavens it was beautiful! In the process of walking down Capital Hill where we parked, I was looking at the houses and talking about wanting to live in one of them someday when I stepped into a hole and biffed it in front of probably ten people. Was it embarrassing? Yes. Did I get hurt? Yes, my hands were cut up and bleeding a bit, but my pride definitely hurt much worse. Good thing is that I laughed pretty hard about the situation. Because really, if you had been there, you would've laughed, too.
In short, the lights were lovely. I loved them all very much. Here are some pictures for ya to look at:
The next adventure happened the next Sunday night. Some kids in my building and I were out talking in our little hallway area and tossing a little plastic jack-o-lantern around. Soon, this became a heinous game of boys vs. girls catch. We were rolling, pushing, biting, screaming, laughing, and taunting like crazy. In fact, it got so bad that we got some pretty sweet rug burns on our feet and knees. Mine personally continued to bleed and crack several days after the game. It was so worth it though. We even came up with a name: Punkitch. You see, it's Quidditch and punkin combined. If you don't know what Quidditch is, I'm very sorry and suggest you read a Harry Potter book or two. Or three. Or you better just read all seven. If you take the shortcut and watch the movies, you're dead to me. If you even look it up on Google, Bing, or any other form of search engine, I may have to defriend you on Facebook. Okay, not really, but seriously. Read. Harry. Potter. P.S. I got staff infection from this glorious activity. If you play, be aware that your knees's health may be at stake.
Next was our gift exchange. We had two in our apartment, one with each other as roommates, and the other with the boys next door. Both were fantastic. I am so blessed to have such wonderful roommates and neighbors.
These past few weeks a recurring thought keeps coming back to haunt me. It haunted me clear throughout the summer. I was avoiding something that was actually impossible to avoid. It was always in the back of my mind if it wasn't dominating the front of it. It was my worst fear and greatest ambition. It was like that bittersweet feeling you get after eating a chocolate covered pretzel; you wanted it so bad and the perfect combination of salty and sweet was too much to resist, so you gave in and ate it. Afterwards, your stomach is angry at you and pretty soon your body is too when it breaks out into fat. It was worth it at first, but then you saw the result and wondered why you don't get a gym membership or do those 90s work out videos that are now stored in your basement closet. Yeah, that's what this is. It's my chocolate covered pretzel. This thing is called never growing up, or as I like to call it, Neverland.
Neverland has always held immense interest for me. Ever since I was super little I watched the Disney version of Peter Pan and had a good portion of the movie memorized. He was kind of my hero, always what I secretly longed to be (along with Tom Sawyer of course). Unfortunately, my conscience is huge and forever tormenting my mind. As a result, I never found Neverland except in books and movies, which (don't get me wrong) is delightful, but to find it for real...now that would be something worth experiencing. Imagine never having to grow up. Go ahead, do it. Look up at the ceiling you are currently sitting under and instead of seeing the white blob of boring, imagine instead a world filled with adventure with pirates, mermaids, fairies, and an attractive young boy who is forever happy and young. Heaven, right? That's what I think. I don't ever want to grow up. I quite enjoy being young and doing what I want when I want, but even now I have responsibilities. Not the kind that full-fledged adults have, but enough of them to keep me tied down. This depresses me actually because I'm only a few very short years away from becoming one of these...and then what? I become a pirate? Awful.
So, a few weeks ago I was watching that glorious movie with the talented Dustin Hoffman, beautiful Julia Roberts (who, in fact, is moving up on my favorite actress list), and the ever funny Robin Williams called Hook. While sitting there at my computer watching this on Netflix I became increasingly more aware of my situation and how much it stinks. But then, one tiny scene in that movie completely changed my outlook on never growing up. As Tinkerbell was struggling to help Peter find his happy thought, Peter was beginning to remember why he left Neverland in the first place. It was because he wanted to be a dad. He had found his happy thought: his son. It was then that I realized why I need to grow up; not to get a job, earn money, and go into debt. No, it's to become a mother. I need to grow up so that I can be a mom. Once I came to this realization, it was like everything was clear. I didn't have to be scared anymore of growing up (at least not too much) because once I became a mother I would be able to find Neverland for real...with my children. We may not actually fly to the second star to the right and straight on into morning, but being with them, having them will be enough. We'll create our own Neverland and they will be my Peter Pans and Tinkerbells. This time, I'll be Wendy, ready to join in whenever they let me.
Then maybe growing up wouldn't be so bad. In fact, if I never did I wouldn't ever fulfill one of the most important missions a woman can perform: motherhood. Never growing up would take that away from me and I'm starting to think that would be almost unbearably worse. Yes, yes it would be. Neverland is still going to haunt me, I think it always will, but now maybe it will be easier to face my fear. You know, I think it will. Brilliant. Remind me someday in heaven to thank James Barry for his brilliant mind.
Well I believe that's all for me, thanks! 'Til next time!
